WHAT IS FEAR?
Fear basically means to feel afraid or worried that something bad may happen. From this, it is obvious that fear is nothing but an unreasonable as what we may fear has not happened yet. The truth of the matter is that, about 90% of all our harbored fears someway somehow never materialize as we may have thought.
COMPONENTS OF FEAR
Just as everything, including even the human body, is made of certain components or elements, so is fear. To most people, these can be seen as independent fears. Some of these so-called components of fear may include:
1. Fear Of The Unknown: This is the component of fear that mostly constitutes the greatest portion of fear. Fear of the unknown is simply the component of fear that makes you feel afraid that something negative will happen when you do something, though you have not done the thing yet. For instance, you may tell yourself, “No one will buy this” anytime you plan to sell a specific product. You fear it won’t sell though you’ve not tried it.
2. Fear Of Failure: This component is almost like the fear of the unknown. The only difference is that, while the above is based somewhat on a statement your mind accepts to be true, this component rather asks your mind a simple question; “what if you fail?” Unlike the fear of the unknown, where you can dispute the statement as a fallacy when you see someone buy a copy of the product from someone, this fear gets you thinking that you just can’t make it because you guys are two different people.
3. Fear Of Success: This is a different form of component altogether. With this, the individual is simply afraid of the success they may achieve if they do something. This might sound “strange” but it is true. From our part of the world, some people are, for instance, afraid to use their talent because they might become popular which, to them, might also make them proud. This is the most dangerous component of fear as it sounds so religious, preservative and less easy to detect.
4. Fortune Telling: Also, like fear of the unknown, this component seals the deal. For instance, for failing to sell the product, fortune-telling makes you believe that “you can never sell again”. This component may be common to those who encounter, or recover from, heart break. They then tell their fortune that, “I will never love again”.
The average person may feel fear basically due to:
1. Past experience – we are not always ready to be the second or third fool by repeating some mistakes we made before.
2. Others’ experience – perhaps, a father who suffered and injury will not like his son repeat this same blunder. In a way to advise them, some fear might be instilled in their wards.
3. Security / Safety reasons – sometimes we simply do not want to take any risks to be the scape goats of a society. We therefore do not want to try something new.
CAUSES OF FEAR
Whether fear is natural or not, I strongly believe, and agree strongly with Brian Tracy in his book “Speak To Win”, that fear is learned. Your nature (ethics) and nurture (environment) strongly affect you. As children, we were innocent and highly confident. Growing up, we begin to learn from our closest people. Some of these include their fears too. In sum, these may some causes of fear:
1. Environment: How one is nurtured or raised-up can affect how they see fear. For instance, growing up in a society where violence is seen as the best tool to be secured, it will take some divine intervention to save a young boy from copying this because for all his life, that is what he saw.
2. Character: This includes one’s ethics and attitude. Some people, no matter where they find themselves, will still harbor fears. To these people, give them whatever they need to be bold, confident and highly self-esteemed; they will still fear. They keep on shifting blames to almost everyone else except themselves and their character.
3. Low Self-Esteem: Lack of confidence may be worse, but, not as serious as low self-esteem. People with low self-esteem are excessively afraid to even do some basic stuff like talking, walking, etc. while in the midst of even their long time relations like parents, friends, etc. They simply can’t be themselves for a second.
4. Lack of Innovation: Lack of creativity causes fear. Some people believe success is meant for some people and not them. Others also do not want to take risks at all for one reason or the other. They are simply not creative not because they don’t have potentials but because they are not used to new ways of doing things and are not ready to also learn.
WHY WE NEED TO OVERCOME FEAR
Except an alien, every man on earth does not need to be told dangers of fear and for which it (fear) should be overcome. In case you are wondering, some of the reasons that make fear worth overcoming may include:
1. Fear kills dreams, goals and even people: I know of a friend of mine who nearly committed suicide by hanging for his fear to be himself. It was while on top of the tree busily knotting his rope that someone under the tree saw his “suicide note” and screamed “Gosh, Who is this special person with such a lovely piece of hand-writing. Hello, please don’t do it; you don’t want to miss your greatest opportunity to be rich!”
2. Fear leads to illiteracy and ignorance: There used to be times where people, due to fear, were totally illiterates. They over-believed what their leaders told that that they felt afraid to approach situations with logical deductions. For instance, a community in Africa was made to believe that some evil spirits caused common diseases like malaria, measles, and the like. This fear made them run to the priests instead of the health centres when attacked by any of such diseases.
3. Fear leads to poverty: Most poor people today are as such due to some fear they instilled in them to take charge of their lives and take action. For instance, for not selling the said product as illustrated before, we always live from hand-to-mouth and make no income or even save some money.
4. Fear “steals” our joy from us: It is really hard, if not impossible, to find a fear-filled person who is happy. This is because, through fear, we believe that our lives are aimless and not worth living. Fear leads to poverty and poverty leads to sorrows as we are not able to afford some basic things that may add value to our lives.
5. Fear has the tendency to form part of our whole being. As we continue to live in fear, it affects our lives at large; we talk fear, eat fear, walk fear and even live fear.
HOW TO OVERCOME FEAR
I believe talking about fear continuously as a disease without giving some antidotes to battle it will be highly unfortunate. Therefore, we need to know some of the forces and keys we may need to face our fears squarely. Among them include:
1. Develop a high self-esteem: Self-esteem constitutes basically what makes us feel respected and appreciated. They include our courage or confidence, sense of humor, personal relations, and so on. To have a high self-esteem means we are beyond anything that puts us down like fear and lack. Believe in yourself and always be yourself in every situation and fear will vanish from you.
2. Talk back at fear: Fear starts from the mind. The subconscious mind which facilitates fear can’t differentiate between a “real” thought and a “dream”. Therefore you can take it as an exercise to talk back at your subconscious mind any time a fear pops-up. For instance, when your mind asks you, “what if you fail?” ask back like, “what if I make it?” From here develop some joy as if you have already made it and the fear will say bye-bye to you.
3. Use the ‘Bruce Lee’ method: Bruce Lee, who lived to be one of the best Kong-Fu actors, is supposedly believed to use a simple technique to overcome his fears. Once confronted with fear, he lists down all his negative feelings or fears on a piece of paper. He then lights a candle flame and with the paper folded, he burns the list. The reason is that, just as he burns the list of his fears, he has unconsciously overcome his fears. Why not adopt it?
4. Use affirmations: Affirmations are simply the positive statements we say or accept in place of similar negative thoughts. The reason for this is to challenge your subconscious mind what you really want and create ways to achieve them. For instance, when afraid of sickness one can affirm that, “I am strong and every cell in me is healthy”. This works best when our thoughts, desires and conscience are all in equilibrium with our affirmations.
5. Use visualizations: This entails using images to pre-play the future of an action you intend to achieve. For example, if you wish to receive a cheque of $1,000,000.00, visualize yourself already having that money. Feel and experience all the joy you can derive from using the money via picturing in your mind such images. This really works like magic with the feelings of joy attached.
6. Develop the right mindset: To overcome fear, all forms of prejudices and stereotypes about life, money, success, etc. should be eradicated from the mind. Just as one may not easily pass a subject or course he hates, so it is with success. Begin to love life, money and success and you will automatically attract them. Be grateful and love those who are successful and you will be opening doors of success into your life.
7. Understand that Fear can be conquered: Some people unfortunately have the notion that fear is like err which is inseparable from life. But this is not true! Fear can be decapitated if only one wishes. Creating this awareness alone is a good key to overcome fear. This distances fears from us.
8. Increase you knowledge: I remember a simple but true clause that says, “Increase your knowledge, decrease your fear.” The first resort to overcome fears is to increase our knowledge on the topic or problem that proves fearsome. For instance, the best way to overcome you fear of trailing in an exam is to seek knowledge on the course from books, lectures, and instructors. Believe it or not,; you are only afraid now because you don’t want to seek knowledge on how to overcome your fears.
9. Face Fear: This, as quoted by a friend, is “the weirdest thing to hear” but it is really true. It said that a the most fierce lion will retreat and run away if you face it and tell it you have power over it. Why not do so to your fears? Your fears have no power. The only power they have is that which you give to it. This is because, they arise from your mind which is less than and part of your body. If so, why should your mind control your whole life? It is time you search for, approach and kill you fear before it does otherwise.
10. Read Archurst’s Blog always: Yes! It is the best active and down-to-earth blog where you can get the stuff to face your fears and claim success.
As a success-seeking person, you need to develop yourself and your self –esteem so that you can overcome all fears that have been pulling you back from your goals, desires and passion. Fear is natural and also controllable. Fear can kill so kill it first and live life to the fullest now or relax and let it rob you of your right to live and live happily.
Thank you for reading and see you soon!